I am a Transformed Male. I am constantly traveling, observing, listening, absorbing; filtering words, wisdom and opening myself to connections that will help that metamorphosis. This is a process, full of stops and starts, fears and frustrations. Yet sometimes some of the smallest things, a verse, a phrase, a post, a word, can have the most profound effect on me and makes me question how might I be the purest version of myself. How can I be my authentic self? Am I haughty or humble? I’m not sure of some things but I’ve figured out that it begins with being self-aware, the ability to see things outside your own microcosm, outside your neighborhood, city, state and country. This is very difficult to do for most people and even more so for some men. The question that I reflect on the most is what does it mean to be a “Transformed Male?” A better version of ourselves? It can be confusing because we have so much media “noise” that influences us to be this or that. Should we be Stoic Providers or Sensitive Listeners? Cool or Quiet? The Adventurous and Dangerous Donnie or The Reliable Stable Steve? Pondering all of this led me to think of what it means to be a gentleman. Who is He? How does he think? What are his values?
The Transformed Male is for the man who wants to improve not just his outer appearance but also the qualities that define the person he is on the inside. Lots of mens blogs, websites & magazines will tell you to buy this and wear that. That’s only part of the equation. Here we’ll talk fashion, music, art and relationships but most of all, we’ll talk about how to transform yourself into a man of focus and of character. After all, what good is a new suit if the man inside is rotten?
I am a blogger with 16 years of fashion retail experience and 10 years working with luxury brands. I am a public speaker, write poetry and an avid music lover.
On December 26, 2009 I came down with a condition called Rhabdomyolysis triggered by a bout with the flu that nearly killed me. For about a month and a half I was hooked up to I.V.’s as the doctors raced to keep my organs from shutting down. After month and months of physical therapy I’m slowly recovering. Day by day I’m regaining my strength. It was then that I decided to create this blog as a daily meditation on what I was thinking about as I was lying in the hospital bed. I had always been occupied with helping others look good physically, picking out outfits, suits, shirts, ties, etc. I worked long hours working to help others to build an “image.” I involved myself in ministry work, helping people change their motive and behaviours to better themselves, but what about mine? I mean, really I felt that I needed to step back and look at the person that I was on the INSIDE. When you’re in the image and fashion business sometimes you can get so caught up in “what it looks like” that you begin to hide behind that façade. So I created the transformed male as a reminder to myself to always look past the fancy clothes, the etiquette manuals and go deeper and weed out any parts of my personality that were not authentic. Motive and Intent is more important than the action achieved from the act itself. Truly knowing the real reasons we do things will give us pause to make sure that we are always being authentic. Thus, true transformations will be made to benefit ourselves as men, husbands, fathers, and leaders. This journey is for me, but you are welcome to walk along and see a transforming male. Most importantly and hopefully, you will leave here with a sense of hope that chivalrous & genteel behavior are not archaic ideologies, but a realistic aspiration.