A few months ago I was asked to take part in a blog series called “Divas Wanna Know” by @Jendiva of Mind of a Diva, a great blog for women full of empowering posts that encourage women to redefine what it means to be a Diva.
What questions would you have asked? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
1. How will you know when you’ve met the right woman? Or if you’re in a relationship how did you know?
For me it was a slow realization. As I spent time with her all my fears (yes we get scared too, no matter what we tell you) began to dissolve and I realized this was the person I NEEDED to be with (her personality complimented mine) and WANTED to be with (she is the one that I want to spend all of my time with) and when I realized this I had to marry her.
2. Is it important for you (as a man) to have a partner (wife) that is an intellectual equal or are there more important factors that you consider?
What’s more important is similar VALUES. What does she BELIEVE in? What motivates the course of her life? Sure intelligence is important, but what good is all that intellect if she doesn’t share the values you hold dear?
3. Why do men use texting, email, chat, and other nonverbal methods to end a relationship? Why do they feel that’s acceptable?
Unfortunately this is a generational thing, it’s irresponsible, disrespectful and lazy. What used to be a cop-out confined to High School and College is now infiltrated into “adult relationships.” Grown men in their late 20’s and up to their 40’s are using texting as way to deceive and avert responsibility. Why? Because way before the relationship is over, he’s already divorced his emotions and doesn’t want to deal with the woman. In his eyes sending a text, email or any other non verbal communication is his way of not dealing with the “emotional drama.” However, If a man needs to have a serious conversation with his woman it needs to face to face, period.
4. What does it take for men to commit to a relationship?
I can’t speak for other men but for me I needed to connect and feel that she appreciated the time and effort I put in opening myself up to her, sharing my values, goals. When I know she and I are on the same page or even despite our differences we are able to respect each others mental, emotional and spiritual pursuits, that’s when I knew that I needed to be with her forever.
5. Do you think it’s important to feed yourself spiritually? If so, how do you feed your soul?
I think it’s very important. I believe it’s what keeps you grounded to a theme and a purpose in your life. I try to stay actively involved my place of worship. I read a verse in the Scriptures that relates to a specific dilemma or even a character trait I’m trying to develop. Wisdom and humility are the two that I’ve tried to work on and master.
6. As a man do you feel that women’s standards are too high when they are looking for someone to date/be in a relationship with?
That depends on what their standards are. In reality it’s all about mirroring the qualities you want a mate to have in your own life. Honestly speaking, you can’t want a specific quality In a man that you don’t already have in yourself. That’s only fair. One of my Twitter friends once said “You can’t ask for Superman unless you are at least a Wonder Woman.”
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