The Transformed Male

When someone says “That’s cool” or “He/She is cool” we are acknowledging a certain something that makes a person seem different from the norm. Akin to being stylish, I believe being cool is a delicate balance of self-confidence and self-control. It’s more than what you wear because it has to permeate what you do and how you live everyday. You can’t “try” to be cool, you can’t “act” cool, it has to happen organically and for some people it’s almost innate. In a post I wrote called “The 7 Habits Of Stylish People” I talked about style being 70% character and 30% clothing. I truly believe that. The same could be said about being cool. No amount of self-promoting “Machismo” or bravado will make you cool. Cool is knowing & being. It’s watching, saying and doing the right thing at the right time.Cool is observing and listening to everything, then filtering out the things you don’t need. One can be cool if one is generous & has integrity. Cool is humble. Cool is quiet but powerful. Cool is purposeful. Mentoring is cool, Selflessness is cool. Sidney Poitier is cool, Martin Luther King Jr. is cool.  Harry Belafonte is cool.

Are you Cool?

Dear Summer:
It’s warm outside; people are wearing fewer clothes, but please be modest. Some things shouldn’t be made public.
Let me tell you about flip-flops… You can judge a man by his choice in footwear. If a dude comes up rocking flip-flops, you know that guy isn’t going to be the kind of guy you want to have your back. You can’t fight in flip-flops. (I don’t endorse violence at all but if you need to defend yourself you’re doomed) You can’t run in flip-flops. You can’t ride motorcycles. You can’t use tools. You can’t kick stuff. You can’t conduct any type of professional business. You can’t even get into most bars wearing them (and if you do, I’ll “accidentally” spill my drink on your foot!). So seriously… what’s the point?

Gents, casual doesn’t mean ugly. Running shoes are for running, knapsacks are for hiking…flip-flops are for the beach.

Most men like to keep things simple, uncomplicated and uncluttered. I am NOT a simple man. I’m long winded, passionate and at times maybe even a little too serious. People who know me say that I can take 30 minutes to tell a 5 minute story. I will cop to this. I like details, embellishments, I like to hear and see all angles of a subject before I form an opinion. Sometimes though, only a few ideas or facts are needed to move us forward. With that said I’m learning to embrace the power of simplicity. It’s a work in progress but I’m getting there.

When I think about the climate of the world, I think we all could use some of that simplicity today; simple living that keeps us from spiritual, emotional and financial trouble. Simple living that helps us in times of adversity, simplicity that doesn’t resign itself to mediocrity but finds honor in living with charity, responsibility and clarity.

Simplicity allows us to let go, to strip things down to its natural essence, see things for how they truly are. It doesn’t mean that it will be easy; it just means that it is easy to understand. My grandparents & great grandparents were humble people with simple values; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” was the adage that they lived by. My grandfather (90yrs) once  called himself a “Blue Collar Gentleman.” I laughed but found that incredibly cool. “Work hard, provide for your family, don’t live outside your means and have a little fun in between.” was his only advice to me. Simply put, powerful words, wise advice.

My life will always be filled with changes, stops, starts, fits, failures and successes, but through it all as I get older and raise my family, I slowly realize that the collective wisdom of my grandparents & great grandparents and the simple wisdom they lived by could be of tremendous help for us today.

See? I got this post done in fewer than 500 words…progress!